50 Good Things about Unemployment

50. Sex. This week, UPI reported on a Texas A&M study published in the journal Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity that found lengthy unemployment may increase sexual appetite.  I'm waiting.
http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2010/01/25/Long-term-unemployment-linked-to-more-sex/UPI-24231264478711/

49. When your doctor makes you wait over an hour to see her on your last day of health insurance, it just doesn't matter.

48. No need to go outside when it is two degrees. I'm not bedding down with the deer tonight. My mama told me there’d be days like this.

47. You can unpack keepsakes left to you and repack them until you leave them to your offspring who will unpack and repack them.

46. You can make your own TV dinners, instant coffee or Tang. Let Lester and Charlie show you how: http://bit.ly/ozqT6  These guys are hysterical.

45. When your car breaks down, you don’t have to worry about getting to work.

44. You can ponder. I’ve been thinking about the word, rodeo. It has three long vowels and only five letters. Wow. Or rather, yeehaw.

43. You can get a bunch of credit cards before the banks know you have no income. For the banks, this is also a good thing. I have so many now I need a new genuine cowhide leather slim line credit card holder. And I'm a vegetarian.

42. You can watch your dogs snore and twitch.

41. You can run out of the house as soon as the winter sun shines provided you already have your boots laced, unzip your parka, unzip your gray sweatshirt, unzip your navy sweatshirt, pull up your t-shirt and soak in the sun for the 11 minutes that it shines. So far, the neighbors haven’t objected. I have such small breasts that the little things might not even be visible from across the road. I’ve told them this practice was recommended by my doctor who claims my Vitamin D is so low I could have Rickets.

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (Link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDv8jBOaSFc&NR=1 ) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.


If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

49 Good Things about Unemployment

49.When your doctor makes you wait over an hour to see her on your last day of health insurance, it just doesn't matter.

48. No need to go outside when it is two degrees. I'm not bedding down with the deer tonight. My mama told me there’d be days like this.

47. You can unpack keepsakes left to you and repack them until you leave them to your offspring who will unpack and repack them.

46. You can make your own TV dinners, instant coffee or Tang. Let Lester and Charlie show you how: http://bit.ly/ozqT6 These guys are hysterical.

45. When your car breaks down, you don’t have to worry about getting to work.

44. You can ponder. I’ve been thinking about the word, rodeo. It has three long vowels and only five letters. Wow. Or rather, yeehaw.

43. You can get a bunch of credit cards before the banks know you have no income. For the banks, this is also a good thing. I have so many now I need a new genuine cowhide leather slim line credit card holder. And I'm a vegetarian.

42. You can watch your dogs snore and twitch.

41. You can run out of the house as soon as the winter sun shines provided you already have your boots laced, unzip your parka, unzip your gray sweatshirt, unzip your navy sweatshirt, pull up your t-shirt and soak in the sun for the 11 minutes that it shines. So far, the neighbors haven’t objected. I have such small breasts that they might not even be visible from across the road. I’ve told them this practice was recommended by my doctor who claims that my Vitamin D is so low I could have Rickets.

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Photo update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

48 Good Things about Unemployment

48. No need to go outside when it is two degrees. I'm not bedding down with the deer tonight. My mama told me there’d be days like this.

47. You can unpack keepsakes left to you and repack them until you leave them to your offspring who will unpack and repack them.

46. You can make your own TV dinners, instant coffee or Tang. Let Lester and Charlie show you how: http://bit.ly/ozqT6 These guys are hysterical.

45. When your car breaks down, you don’t have to worry about getting to work.

44. You can ponder. I’ve been thinking about the word, rodeo. It has three long vowels and only five letters. Wow. Or rather, yeehaw.

43. You can get a bunch of credit cards before the banks know you have no income. For the banks, this is also a good thing. I have so many now I need a new genuine cowhide leather slim line credit card holder. And I'm a vegetarian.

42. You can watch your dogs snore and twitch.

41. You can run out of the house as soon as the winter sun shines provided you already have your boots laced, unzip your parka, unzip your gray sweatshirt, unzip your navy sweatshirt, pull up your t-shirt and soak in the sun for the 11 minutes that it shines. So far, the neighbors haven’t objected. I have such small breasts that they might not even be visible from across the road. I’ve told them this practice was recommended by my doctor who claims that my Vitamin D is so low I could have Rickets.

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Photo update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

47 Good Things about Unemployment

47. You can unpack keepsakes left to you and repack them until you leave them to your offspring who will unpack and repack them.

46. You can make your own TV dinners, instant coffee or Tang. Let Lester and Charlie show you how: http://bit.ly/ozqT6 These guys are hysterical.

45. When your car breaks down, you don’t have to worry about getting to work.

44. You can ponder. I’ve been thinking about the word, rodeo. It has three long vowels and only five letters. Wow. Or rather, yeehaw.

43. You can get a bunch of credit cards before the banks know you have no income. For the banks, this is also a good thing. I have so many now I need a new genuine cowhide leather slim line credit card holder. And I'm a vegetarian.

42. You can watch your dogs snore and twitch.

41. You can run out of the house as soon as the winter sun shines provided you already have your boots laced, unzip your parka, unzip your gray sweatshirt, unzip your navy sweatshirt, pull up your t-shirt and soak in the sun for the 11 minutes that it shines. So far, the neighbors haven’t objected. I have such small breasts that they might not even be visible from across the road. I’ve told them this practice was recommended by my doctor who claims that my Vitamin D is so low I could have Rickets.

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Photo update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

46 Good Things about Unemployment

46. You can make your own TV dinners, instant coffee or Tang.  Let Lester and Charlie show you how at http://bit.ly/ozqT6  These guys are hysterical.

45. When your car breaks down, you don't have to worry about getting to work.


44. You can ponder. I've been thinking about the word, rodeo. It has three long vowels and only five letters. Wow. Or rather, yeehaw.


43. You can get a bunch of credit cards before the banks know you have no income. For the banks, this is also a good thing. I have so many now I need a new genuine cowhide leather slim line credit card holder. And I'm a vegetarian.  


42. You can watch your dogs snore and twitch.

41. You can run out of the house as soon as the winter sun shines provided you already have your boots laced, unzip your parka, unzip your gray sweatshirt, unzip your navy sweatshirt, pull up your t-shirt and soak in the sun for the 11 minutes that it shines. So far, the neighbors haven’t objected. I have such small breasts that they might not even be visible from across the road. I’ve told them this practice was recommended by my doctor who claims that my Vitamin D is so low I could have Rickets.

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Photo update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

45 Good Things about Unemployment

45. When your car breaks down, you don’t have to worry about getting to work.

44. You can ponder. I’ve been thinking about the word, rodeo. It has three long vowels and only five letters. Wow. Or rather, yeehaw.

43. You can get a bunch of credit cards before the banks know you have no income. For the banks, this is also a good thing. I have so many now I need a new genuine cowhide leather slim line credit card holder. And I'm a vegetarian.

42. You can watch your dogs snore and twitch.

41. You can run out of the house as soon as the winter sun shines provided you already have your boots laced, unzip your parka, unzip your gray sweatshirt, unzip your navy sweatshirt, pull up your t-shirt and soak in the sun for the 11 minutes that it shines. So far, the neighbors haven’t objected. I have such small breasts that they might not even be visible from across the road. I’ve told them this practice was recommended by my doctor who claims that my Vitamin D is so low I could have Rickets.

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Photo update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

44 Good Things about Unemployment

44. You can ponder. I’ve been thinking about the word, rodeo. It has three long vowels and only five letters. Wow. Or rather, yeehaw.

43. You can get a bunch of credit cards before the banks know you have no income. For the banks, this is also a good thing. I have so many now I need a new genuine cowhide leather slim line credit card holder. And I'm a vegetarian.

42. You can watch your dogs snore and twitch.

41. You can run out of the house as soon as the winter sun shines provided you already have your boots laced, unzip your parka, unzip your gray sweatshirt, unzip your navy sweatshirt, pull up your t-shirt and soak in the sun for the 11 minutes that it shines. So far, the neighbors haven’t objected. I have such small breasts that they might not even be visible from across the road. I’ve told them this practice was recommended by my doctor who claims that my Vitamin D is so low I could have Rickets.

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Photo update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

25. You are the boss.

If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

43 Good Things about Unemployment

43. You can get a bunch of credit cards before the banks know you have no income. For the banks, this is also a good thing. I have so many now I need a new genuine cowhide leather slim line credit card holder. And I'm a vegetarian.

42. You can watch your dogs snore and twitch.

41. You can run out of the house as soon as the winter sun shines provided you already have your boots laced, unzip your parka, unzip your gray sweatshirt, unzip your navy sweatshirt, pull up your t-shirt and soak in the sun for the 11 minutes that it shines. So far, the neighbors haven’t objected. I have such small breasts that they might not even be visible from across the road. I’ve told them this practice was recommended by my doctor who claims that my Vitamin D is so low I could have Rickets.

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Photo update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

42 Good Things about Unemployment

42. You can watch your dogs snore and twitch.

41. You can run out of the house as soon as the winter sun shines provided you already have your boots laced, unzip your parka, unzip your gray sweatshirt, unzip your navy sweatshirt, pull up your t-shirt and soak in the sun for the 11 minutes that it shines. So far, the neighbors haven’t objected. I have such small breasts that they might not even be visible from across the road. I’ve told them this practice was recommended by my doctor who claims that my Vitamin D is so low I could have Rickets.

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Photo update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

41 Good Things about Unemployment

41. You can run out of the house as soon as the winter sun shines provided you already have your boots laced, unzip your parka, unzip your gray sweatshirt, unzip your navy sweatshirt, pull up your t-shirt and soak in the sun for the 11 minutes that it shines. So far, the neighbors haven’t objected. I have such small breasts that they might not even be visible from across the road. I’ve told them this practice was recommended by my doctor who claims that my Vitamin D is so low I could have Rickets.

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Photo update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

40 Good Things about Unemployment

40. Naps are necessary. Yesterday, I slept for hours on the couch after reading a New Yorker story. Earlier, I took a hike in the woods and shoveled more of our long gravel drive where my car had gotten stuck the night before. The Honda is buried again this morning. And I’m sure the town’s road crew has piled the snow at the end of the drive. Real exercise ahead. Photo update: Our kind neighbor with a snowplow did the work for me. I think an outing is in order. I’ll go get gas.

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

If you'd like to read Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

39 Good Things about Unemployment

39. Your alarm clock doesn’t go off, on purpose.

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (I’ve attached a link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping.) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry on January 6th entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

38 Good Things about Unemployment

38. You can make habitat for the snow fleas. If you make tracks in the snow today, the snow fleas will be there tomorrow as long as the temperature is still around freezing. The last few days have been balmy—almost 40 degrees. Stick your nose in yesterday’s tracks and watch the snow fleas jump. (Link to a video of a magnified snow flea jumping:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDv8jBOaSFc&NR=1 ) A little guy is there, then he isn’t. Now, he has switched places with a friend. Possibly the perfect mates.

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know.

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.


For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry on January 6th entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

37 Good Things about Unemployment

37. You can spend the morning admiring the sticky snowstorm and cleaning up dog diarrhea. I have spared you a photo of the latter. What a beautiful morning, outside anyway. As for the dogs, they are now outside too. As for the diarrhea, we have big dogs. But whichever one it was, he made a good attempt at running to the bathroom. Why I don't know. 


36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.
35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.
34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.
33. You can fart at your desk.
32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.
31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.
30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.
29. There is no dress code.
28. You can watch the icicles not melting.
27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.
26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry on January 6th entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

36 Good Things about Unemployment

36. You can spend as much as time as you want in the bathroom.

35. Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry on January 6th entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

35 Good Things about Unemployment

35.  Saturday is just another day. I'm making snow angels.

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.


For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry on January 6th entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

34 Good Things about Unemployment

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.


For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry on January 6th entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

33 Good Things about Unemployment

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.



For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry on January 6th entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

32 Good Things about Unemployment

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not dripping.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry on January 6th entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

31 Good Things about Unemployment

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not dripping.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.


For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry of January 6th entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.

30 Good Things about Unemployment

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code. 

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.


For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see entry on January 6th.

29 Good Things about Unemployment

29. There is no dress code.




28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.


For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see entry on January 6th.

28 Good Things about Unemployment

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.


For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see entry on January 6th.

27 Good Things about Unemployment

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.


26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.



For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see entry on January 6th.

26 Good Things about Unemployment

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see entry on January 6th.

25 Good Things about Unemployment

25. You are the boss.

24. You can watch Emperor Penguins mate in the middle of the day. I had never done that before yesterday. Shortly after the library opened at 2:00 pm, I checked out a handful of DVDs. After spending my morning shoveling snow, I sat down on my bed with a cup of tea and cookies, and watched the March of the Penguins. I loved seeing these birds slide around the South Pole on their plentiful bellies. I’m just surprised the beer drinking human male hasn’t adopted this system of transportation.

23. You can read and read and reread. I just finished The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver. A triumph. I cried at the end, maybe because the book was done. So, I reread the last chapter.

22. On a cold winter day, you can shovel.

21. On a warm winter day, you can count the snow fleas.

20. You can create a blog and get rich when thousands of your loyal readers click the ads. Happy New Year!

19. As the clock strikes midnight, you wish for a year as good as this one.

18. You can wait as the dogs roll around in the snow on your daily hike.

17. You can watch the falling snowflakes the size of Nebraska.

16. You are still eating all the Christmas dinner leftovers that family offered. We finished the cheesecake yesterday, but still have half of the cherry pie. Oops, not quite half. We have enough vegetarian stuffing for the next 37 holidays.

15. You get good at exchanging gifts for cash.

14. You can happily avoid the lines at the after Christmas sales.

13. You can give penny loafers without the loafers and your family will understand.

12. You are not in the office on Christmas Eve.

11. No matter what time of day your holiday guests arrive at the airport, you can pick them up.

10. You can always make a personal call.

9. You don’t have to worry if you have available vacation days.

8. You can dust. This week, I dusted and vacuumed in places I’ve never seen before. I swear I disrupted the lives of 40-year-old daddy long legs. We didn’t just have web communities between the posts and beams of this 180-year-old house, there were remote solar systems with intricate travel ways. I even cleaned around my partner’s side of the bed too, which is not something I ordinarily do. However, I did not touch his bedside table. Even unemployed, I have my limits.

7. You don’t have to do laundry on the weekend.

6. You can wear the same outfit all week and nobody knows but your partner and he just wants your clothes off anyway.

5. You look forward to jury duty.

4. If someone is rude on the phone, you simply hang up on them.

3. You don’t groan when the teenager at the thrift shop asks if you want the senior discount.

2. When the local Toyota dealership sends you a key to win a new Prius, you can drive there when the sun is shining, amuse the salesman while not buying a car, and collect your consolation prize of three gold coins.

1. You don’t have to call in sick.

24 Good Things about Unemployment

24. You can watch Emperor Penguins mate in the middle of the day. I had never done that before yesterday. Shortly after the library opened at 2:00 pm, I checked out a handful of DVDs. After spending my morning shoveling snow, I sat down on my bed with a cup of tea and cookies, and watched the March of the Penguins. I loved seeing these birds slide around the South Pole on their plentiful bellies. I’m just surprised the beer drinking human male hasn’t adopted this system of transportation.


23. You can read and read and reread. I just finished The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver. A triumph. I cried at the end, maybe because the book was done. So, I reread the last chapter.
22. On a cold winter day, you can shovel.
21. On a warm winter day, you can count the snow fleas.
20. You can create a blog and get rich when thousands of your loyal readers click the ads. Happy New Year!
19. As the clock strikes midnight, you wish for a year as good as this one.
18. You can wait as the dogs roll around in the snow on your daily hike.
17. You can watch the falling snowflakes the size of Nebraska.
16. You are still eating all the Christmas dinner leftovers that family offered. We finished the cheesecake yesterday, but still have half of the cherry pie. Oops, not quite half. We have enough vegetarian stuffing for the next 37 holidays.
15. You get good at exchanging gifts for cash.
14. You can happily avoid the lines at the after Christmas sales.
13. You can give penny loafers without the loafers and your family will understand.
12. You are not in the office on Christmas Eve.
11. No matter what time of day your holiday guests arrive at the airport, you can pick them up.
10. You can always make a personal call.
9. You don’t have to worry if you have available vacation days.
8. You can dust. This week, I dusted and vacuumed in places I’ve never seen before. I swear I disrupted the lives of 40-year-old daddy long legs. We didn’t just have web communities between the posts and beams of this 180-year-old house, there were remote solar systems with intricate travel ways. I even cleaned around my partner’s side of the bed too, which is not something I ordinarily do. However, I did not touch his bedside table. Even unemployed, I have my limits.
7. You don’t have to do laundry on the weekend.
6. You can wear the same outfit all week and nobody knows but your partner and he just wants your clothes off anyway.
5. You look forward to jury duty.
4. If someone is rude on the phone, you simply hang up on them.
3. You don’t groan when the teenager at the thrift shop asks if you want the senior discount.
2. When the local Toyota dealership sends you a key to win a new Prius, you can drive there when the sun is shining, amuse the salesman while not buying a car, and collect your consolation prize of three gold coins.
1. You don’t have to call in sick.

23 Good Things about Unemployment

23. You can read and read and reread. I just finished The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver. A triumph. I cried at the end, maybe because the book was done. So, I reread the last chapter.

22. On a cold winter day, you can shovel.
21. On a warm winter day, you can count the snow fleas.
20. You can create a blog and get rich when thousands of your loyal readers click the ads. Happy New Year!
19. As the clock strikes midnight, you wish for a year as good as this one.
18. You can wait as the dogs roll around in the snow on your daily hike.
17. You can watch the falling snowflakes the size of Nebraska.
16. You are still eating all the Christmas dinner leftovers that family offered. We finished the cheesecake yesterday, but still have half of the cherry pie. Oops, not quite half. We have enough vegetarian stuffing for the next 37 holidays.
15. You get good at exchanging gifts for cash.
14. You can happily avoid the lines at the after Christmas sales.
13. You can give penny loafers without the loafers and your family will understand.
12. You are not in the office on Christmas Eve.
11. No matter what time of day your holiday guests arrive at the airport, you can pick them up.
10. You can always make a personal call.
9. You don’t have to worry if you have available vacation days.
8. You can dust. This week, I dusted and vacuumed in places I’ve never seen before. I swear I disrupted the lives of 40-year-old daddy long legs. We didn’t just have web communities between the posts and beams of this 180-year-old house, there were remote solar systems with intricate travel ways. I even cleaned around my partner’s side of the bed too, which is not something I ordinarily do. However, I did not touch his bedside table. Even unemployed, I have my limits.
7. You don’t have to do laundry on the weekend.
6. You can wear the same outfit all week and nobody knows but your partner and he just wants your clothes off anyway.
5. You look forward to jury duty.
4. If someone is rude on the phone, you simply hang up on them.
3. You don’t groan when the teenager at the thrift shop asks if you want the senior discount.
2. When the local Toyota dealership sends you a key to win a new Prius, you can drive there when the sun is shining, amuse the salesman while not buying a car, and collect your consolation prize of three gold coins.
1. You don’t have to call in sick.

22 Good Things about Unemployment

22. On a cold winter day, you can shovel.

21. On a warm winter day, you can count the snow fleas.
20. You can create a blog and get rich when thousands of your loyal readers click the ads. Happy New Year!
19. As the clock strikes midnight, you wish for a year as good as this one.
18. You can wait as the dogs roll around in the snow on your daily hike.
17. You can watch the falling snowflakes the size of Nebraska.
16. You are still eating all the Christmas dinner leftovers that family offered. We finished the cheesecake yesterday, but still have half of the cherry pie. Oops, not quite half. We have enough vegetarian stuffing for the next 37 holidays.
15. You get good at exchanging gifts for cash.
14. You can happily avoid the lines at the after Christmas sales.
13. You can give penny loafers without the loafers and your family will understand.
12. You are not in the office on Christmas Eve.
11. No matter what time of day your holiday guests arrive at the airport, you can pick them up.
10. You can always make a personal call.
9.   You don’t have to worry if you have available vacation days.
8.   You can dust. This week, I dusted and vacuumed in places I’ve never seen before. I swear I disrupted the lives of 40-year-old daddy long legs. We didn’t just have web communities between the posts and beams of this 180-year-old house, there were remote solar systems with intricate travel ways. I even cleaned around my partner’s side of the bed too, which is not something I ordinarily do. However, I did not touch his bedside table. Even unemployed, I have my limits.
7. You don’t have to do laundry on the weekend.
6. You can wear the same outfit all week and nobody knows but your partner and he just wants your clothes off anyway.
5. You look forward to jury duty.
4. If someone is rude on the phone, you simply hang up on them.
3. You don’t groan when the teenager at the thrift shop asks if you want the senior discount.
2. When the local Toyota dealership sends you a key to win a new Prius, you can drive there when the sun is shining, amuse the salesman while not buying a car, and collect your consolation prize of three gold coins.
1. You don’t have to call in sick.

21 Good Things about Unemployment

21. On a warm winter day, you can count the snow fleas.

20. You can create a blog and get rich when thousands of your loyal readers click the ads. Happy New Year!
19. As the clock strikes midnight, you wish for a year as good as this one.
18. You can wait as the dogs roll around in the snow on your daily hike.
17. You can watch the falling snowflakes the size of Nebraska.
16. You are still eating all the Christmas dinner leftovers that family offered. We finished the cheesecake yesterday, but still have half of the cherry pie. Oops, not quite half. We have enough vegetarian stuffing for the next 37 holidays.
15. You get good at exchanging gifts for cash.
14. You can happily avoid the lines at the after Christmas sales.
13. You can give penny loafers without the loafers and your family will understand.
12. You are not in the office on Christmas Eve.
11. No matter what time of day your holiday guests arrive at the airport, you can pick them up.
10. You can always make a personal call.
9.  You don’t have to worry if you have available vacation days.
8.  You can dust. This week, I dusted and vacuumed in places I’ve never seen before. I swear I disrupted the lives of 40-year-old daddy long legs. We didn’t just have web communities between the posts and beams of this 180-year-old house, there were remote solar systems with intricate travel ways. I even cleaned around my partner’s side of the bed too, which is not something I ordinarily do. However, I did not touch his bedside table. Even unemployed, I have my limits.
7. You don’t have to do laundry on the weekend.
6. You can wear the same outfit all week and nobody knows but your partner and he just wants your clothes off anyway.
5. You look forward to jury duty.
4. If someone is rude on the phone, you simply hang up on them.
3. You don’t groan when the teenager at the thrift shop asks if you want the senior discount.
2. When the local Toyota dealership sends you a key to win a new Prius, you can drive there when the sun is shining, amuse the salesman while not buying a car, and collect your consolation prize of three gold coins.
1. You don’t have to call in sick.

20 Good Things about Unemployment

20. You can create a blog and get rich when thousands of your loyal readers click the ads.

19. As the clock strikes midnight, you wish for a year as good as this one.
18. You can wait as the dogs roll around in the snow on your daily hike.
17. You can watch the falling snowflakes the size of Nebraska.
16. You are still eating all the Christmas dinner leftovers that family offered. We finished the cheesecake yesterday, but still have half of the cherry pie. Oops, not quite half. We have enough vegetarian stuffing for the next 37 holidays.
15. You get good at exchanging gifts for cash.
14. You can happily avoid the lines at the after Christmas sales.
13. You can give penny loafers without the loafers and your family will understand.
12. You are not in the office on Christmas Eve.
11. No matter what time of day your holiday guests arrive at the airport, you can pick them up.
10. You can always make a personal call.
9.   You don’t have to worry if you have available vacation days.
8.   You can dust. This week, I dusted and vacuumed in places I’ve never seen before. I swear I disrupted the lives of 40-year-old daddy long legs. We didn’t just have web communities between the posts and beams of this 180-year-old house, there were remote solar systems with intricate travel ways. I even cleaned around my partner’s side of the bed too, which is not something I ordinarily do. However, I did not touch his bedside table. Even unemployed, I have my limits.
7. You don’t have to do laundry on the weekend.
6. You can wear the same outfit all week and nobody knows but your partner and he just wants your clothes off anyway.
5. You look forward to jury duty.
4. If someone is rude on the phone, you simply hang up on them.
3. You don’t groan when the teenager at the thrift shop asks if you want the senior discount.
2. When the local Toyota dealership sends you a key to win a new Prius, you can drive there when the sun is shining, amuse the salesman while not buying a car, and collect your consolation prize of three gold coins.
1. You don’t have to call in sick.