34 Good Things about Unemployment

34. You do not wake up in the middle of the night haunted by work.

33. You can fart at your desk.

32. There is no one to argue with. However, I have been known to carry on with the dogs.

31. You get to eat the cheapest thing on the menu. Last night, I ate an entire plateful of onion rings. It is even difficult for me to conjure up that image again. I'm in the process of expelling that good thing.

30. Your dog thanks you because you cannot afford the $300 teeth cleaning that the vet recommends.

29. There is no dress code.

28. You can watch the icicles not melting.

27. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door, you are at home to discuss the evils of working too hard.

26. You find meaning in the dollar menu at Taco Bell.


For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see the entry on January 6th entitled, 25 Good Things about Unemployment.