89 Good Things about Unemployment

89. Sitting by a mountain stream at high noon listening to the rush of melted snow. Robins have been reported, but I haven’t seen them. Spring may be here. I hope I don't jinx it.

88. You make your own fancy coffee drinks. Although I don’t have an espresso machine, I brew it strong. And I don’t have to pay extra for soymilk. This coffee cup is my favorite. It says, "do I look like I give a rat's ass?"

87. You read your spam. In the last week, 12 nice merchants have offered me $200 off on a Rolex watch. Paul Meyers, an internet professional who has “seen it all,” wants to show me how he made $136,808 in one month. Veola Rima and 32 others will give me free Viagra. I received a final notice from the FBI, a promise of clear skin, and a bunch of admonitions for wasting my military benefits. And Marlene Gebo wants me to put my doughnut in her oven.

86. Your daily attire is on sale at K-Mart for $4.50. I bought another so I don’t have to type naked when my blue suit is in the washer. And this yellow outfit looks like spring to me. (My blue suit can be found at 29 Good Things posted on January 10, 2010.)

85. When daylight savings time gives you another hour of daylight, you’ve got an extra hour to blog. Your reader wonders if that is a good thing.

84. When your electricity goes out, you are pleased to learn that high winds were the cause and not your delinquent payment.

83. You call yourself a troubled asset and ask the government to purchase you. Let me know if this works. Otherwise, I’ll talk with AIG.

82. You are amused by street names like Petticoat Lane and Rabbit College Road. You rename these roads by visiting http://www.jimwegryn.com/Names/StreetNameGenerator.htm
You come up with Heather Feather Quay and Hidden Zephyr Crest.

81. You discover Facebook. You find old high school buddies. You find former boyfriends. They all look good. You change your photo to your cheerleader yearbook photo. They say you haven’t changed a bit. You know that.

/// For Good Things number 71 through 80, see 80 Good Things about Unemployment posted March 9, 2010.
For Good Things numbered 61 through 70, see 70 Good Things about Unemployment posted February 27, 2010.
For Good Things numbered 52 through 60, see 60 Good Things about Unemployment posted February 10, 2010.
For Good Thing numbered 51, see 51 Good Things about Unemployment posted February 1, 2010.
For Good Things numbered 26 through 50, see 50 Good Things about Unemployment posted on January 31, 2010.
For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see 25 Good Things about Unemployment posted on January 6, 2010. \\\