Wednesday, March 30, 2011

237th Good Thing about Unemployment

You get to use all those soaps, shampoos and shower caps you collected on your business trips. 

Monday, March 28, 2011

We will work

The pool of unemployed families is at an all-time high
Last week, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported the proportion of families with an unemployed family member was the highest ever or since 1994 when they started reporting this figure. In 2010, 12.4% of families or 9.7 million families included an unemployed person (u.p.). This is one in eight families, an increase from 12.0% in 2009. 

Of course, not included in these figures are those who are underemployed, or those working part-time or lower-paying jobs, in order to survive; those who retired early to avoid being laid-off; and those who have given up looking for work. Some of the latter are trying to learn to be self-employed like myself and income isn’t that great for quite a while. And there are those self-employed who have far less work to do. A couple of our neighbors are in this category.

236th Good Thing about Unemployment
You have a parking place.

Unemployed persons are facing mass discrimination
Also this month, U.S. Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) drafted legislation adding unemployed persons to the protected groups under the Civil Rights Act. It would be illegal for employers to refuse to hire an unemployed person.  This is in response to the current trend of employers only hiring currently employed workers further displacing the unemployed.

181st Good Thing about Unemployment
You don't have to wear a bra.

I last worked Albany, NY, in the non-profit sector. It is the public and non-profit sectors that have taken the lion’s share of the lay-offs in this Capital city. Our region lost more work than all but three other areas in 2010 according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. We lost 6,400 jobs and our Governor is threatening to lay-off 10,000 more. One in four workers here is employed by state or local government. And there are a lot of others who work for non-profit organizations who do the work of government.
152nd Good Thing about Unemployment
When you have a big zit, no one at the office stares at it.
So, what to do
I’m one of the ups, trying to make folks aware there is a problem. And although there is absolutely horrible misery in Japan, Libya, Syria and Egypt, at least one in eight families here need a job. It is simple. We will work. Hire us. 

178th Good Thing about Unemployment
Your best friend tries to tell you something when you ask, “How do I look for this interview?”

Friday, March 25, 2011

235th Good Thing about Unemployment

You are home to enjoy the lovely spring weather of snow squalls.  No wonder I’m under the weather.

Friday, March 18, 2011

233rd Good Thing about Unemployment

You get up so late, your first meal is lunch, thereby practicing a new weight-loss method. 
Yesterday, I ate everything in sight. It seems once a month or more, this happens. Today, I just slept and slept so I could skip a meal. I feel slimmer already. 

Thursday, March 17, 2011

232nd Good Thing about Unemployment

You have access to porn websites. 
Can you believe I couldn’t find any decent clip art for this one? 
Okay, I didn’t try too hard.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

230th Good Thing about Unemployment

You are no longer inspired by your company’s mission and vision. You are on a mission from god. It's dark and you are wearing sunglasses, but you've got a full tank of gas (metaphorically) and somebody's gotta hire you.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

229th Good Thing about Unemployment

You miss your sick co-workers who come in coughing with dripping noses, in order to save sick days to use when they are well.  NOT.

Friday, March 11, 2011

228th Good Thing about Unemployment

You don’t smell what your cubicle-mate is eating for lunch, or any discharge during digestion either. 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

227th Good Thing about Unemployment

You are usually not, hardly ever, sleep-deprived.  I would say never, but there are some of us ups (unemployed persons) who cannot sleep due to high anxiety.  I am not one of those.  In fact, this gray and snowy winter has enabled me to sleep 12 hours a night. With fewer hours than that, a nap has been required.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

225th Good Thing about Unemployment

You don’t have to watch Curtis Kiss-Ass win the perfect attendance award again this year. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

223rd Good Thing about Unemployment

You don’t have to keep Stan awake during staff meetings. 

At one of my former workplaces, a rather round co-worker fell asleep several times a day and always at staff meetings. He was the IT guy. We had an unspoken deal. I'd sit next to him and jab him when he started snoring. And I got quick service when my computer was down.