Saturday, April 30, 2011

249th Good Thing about Unemployment

You are the unemployed representative at Career Day at your kid’s school. You get a free lunch.

Friday, April 29, 2011

248th Good Thing about Unemployment

You miss the next downsizing, headcount reduction, lay-off, streamlining, furloughing or anti-redundancy maneuver.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

247th Good Thing about Unemployment

You sit in the swamp and act like you are a National Geographic videographer. You zoom in on the vocal sac of a Northern Spring Peeper, a tiny frog with a shrill voice and a built in amplifier. You wait for your academy award nomination.

Monday, April 25, 2011

246th Good Thing about Unemployment

You don’t have to say, “Have a nice day!”

Sunday, April 24, 2011

245th Good Thing about Unemployment

You don’t have to buy anything from your co-workers like Girl Scout cookies, candy bars, magazines, Avon products, cookie dough, gift wrap or the boss's body parts after dismemberment.

Friday, April 22, 2011

243rd Good Thing about Unemployment

Technical support means finding a recipe on-line.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

242nd Good Thing about Unemployment

You manage unemployment by wandering around (MBWA) with your dogs.
Here are some tips:
  1. Appear relaxed as you wander. 
  2. Try to spend an equal amount of time with each dog.
  3. Talk with them about their passions--perhaps, squirrels, chipmunks and biscuits.
  4. Ask for suggestions for improvement and then ignore them.
  5. Catch a dog doing something right, like not pooping on the path, and praise him.
  6. Remain open and responsive to their concerns.
  7. Convey an image of a coach, not a dog catcher.
  8. Give them water when you stop wandering on a hot day. On cool days, there is no need for refreshment. 

    Thursday, April 14, 2011

    241st Good Thing about Unemployment

    You make your first video: A wood frog croaking in search of love, or at least fertilization.

    Wednesday, April 13, 2011

    240th Good Thing about Unemployment

    You spend your day watching mating wood frogs in a swamp. You discover the joy of frog fornication.

    Thursday, April 7, 2011

    239th Good Thing about Unemployment

    No bursts of toxic fragrance in the privy. Some employers think chemical deodorizers are non-monetary incentives in the workplace restroom. Instead, they promote headaches and tinkling in your office trashcan.

    Monday, April 4, 2011

    238th Good Thing about Unemployment

    You form a strategic partnership. You apply for the jobs and your partner gets you the interviews.  Make sure he shows his teeth, however, and will get mean with mammals other than squirrels.