Sunday, December 20, 2009

8 Good Things About Unemployment

8. You can dust. This week, I dusted and vacuumed in places I’ve never seen before. I swear I disrupted the lives of 40-year-old daddy long legs. We didn’t just have web communities between the posts and beams of this 180-year-old house, there were remote solar systems with intricate travel ways. I even cleaned around my partner’s side of the bed too, which is not something I ordinarily do. However, I did not touch his bedside table. Even unemployed, I have my limits.
7. You don’t have to do laundry on the weekend.
6. You can wear the same outfit all week and nobody knows but your partner and he just wants your clothes off anyway.
5. You look forward to jury duty.
4. If someone is rude on the phone, you simply hang up on them.
3. You don’t groan when the teenager at the thrift shop asks if you want the senior discount.
2. When the local Toyota dealership sends you a key to win a new Prius, you can drive there when the sun is shining, amuse the salesman while not buying a car, and collect your consolation prize of three gold coins.
1. You don’t have to call in sick.

3 comments:

janthepayne said...

Perhaps the webs in my house shall go unvisited until my delayed retirement, as I am a baby boomer whose social security retirement has been delayed until I am 66 & 4 months of age. I hope my flat feet can make it until then! Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately) I am a registered nurse for which there is a severe shortage. That means lots of long hours, overtime, being on call & cranky overworked co-workers.

Anonymous said...

I've never blogged before so this is a first. Why would any ione disturb cobwebs?

Anonymous said...

Truly funny! I'd love not to have to call in sick. As the boss, I still feel guilty when I'm actually sick and have to call the office. How pathetic is that!