Tuesday, February 22, 2011

220th Good Thing about Unemployment

 Buddy, Snott and Daisy at work

You practice Total Quality Management (TQM) with your dogs. You are Executive Management. They are the Quality Control Circle (QCC) unable to make decisions affecting Executive Management, but assisted with these Quality Control (QC) tools:
  • the cause and effect diagram revealing key relationships with respect to products like poop,
  • check sheets available for collecting real-time data on tasks such as chasing the annoying guy who zooms down our dirt road in the golf cart and swings the stick (even though there is no golf course remotely close and there is several feet of snow on the ground),  
  • the scatter diagram to determine the relationship between water intake and lifting one’s leg,
  • control charts used when trapped inside overnight,
  • Pareto diagrams for charting the relative frequency of reasons why we can’t catch every chipmunk,   
  • histograms useful when measuring a particularly perfect distribution of dog doo, and, of course,
  • graphs to help identify the annoying characteristics of Executive Management.
There is the appropriate amount of lag time between when the QCC's recommendations have been submitted and when nothing is done. But, the dogs continue to Circle and occasionally sleep on the job. You offer biscuits to them at regular intervals.

1 comment:

felisa said...

I clearly need to take a more structured approach to managing my cats. Funny you should mention the siege of Leningrad--I was just thinking about that the other day when I was contemplating cooking up some nettles. I thought "what's next? eating the paint off the furniture?"
May your freezer hold out until your next lucky break.