Tuesday, February 9, 2010

59 Good Things about Unemployment

59. You become fascinated with old movies. I’ve watched Cecil B. DeMille’s The Greatest Show on Earth 37 times, while my library fees mount. My hands sweat when Holly, the trapeze artist, duels with The Great Sebastian. Charlton Heston plays another jerk. The only movie I liked him in was Planet of the Apes. Now, that was suspense. I just learned you can get this picture postcard of Charlton Heston’s kiss on E-Bay for $2.95. What a bargain. Hint: My birthday is tomorrow.

58. You get past level 3-5 on a free game of Zuma Deluxe. This is a complicated computer game where a frog spits marbles. If your left-click mouse finger is up to it, you will clear all the marbles before one of them ends up in the gapping mouth of a skull. When you complete a level, a sexy baritone voice exclaims, Zuma! That is the part that gets to me.

57. You get good at Sudoku. And you’re proud of it.

56. You do your taxes as soon as you get your W-2, and kiss your own behind when you learn you are getting a big fat refund. Thanks be to yoga.

55. Unfettered-ness. According to another psychological study, most people are happier on days without work because nobody is bugging them. Scientists label it the weekend-effect. This author says for complete well-being, become unemployed. Calling it the “unemployment-effect,” test subjects say they feel better—emotionally and physically—from Monday morning through Sunday night. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/01/100112085518.htm

54. You watch a library video, Mr. Moto’s Last Warning, and congratulate Peter Lorre when he throws a stack of dynamite out of his abode as it explodes in the air, escapes from a tied gunnysack sunk in the Mediterranean and prevents a war between Britain and France, while never breaking his glasses.

53. As they disconnect your cable, you realize you are already Dancing with the Stars. Just one more of the Desperate Housewives writing her Vampire Diaries. These are the Days of Our Lives.
Although George Clooney doesn't seem to be referenced here, I think he should be.

52. You don’t have to bathe regularly.

/// For Good Thing numbered 51, see 51 Good Things about Unemployment posted February 1, 2010.
For Good Things numbered 26 through 50, see 50 Good Things about Unemployment posted on January 31, 2010.
For Good Things numbered 1 through 25, see 25 Good Things about Unemployment posted on January 6, 2010.\\\

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