Friday, April 16, 2010

110 Good Things about Unemployment

101. You watch your two-year-old pup carry a tree branch ten times her size until she breaks it into a manageable size and then it becomes uninteresting and is dropped.

102. Although it may not seem like it some days, you are luckier than this tree.

103. You are home to stop one of your dogs from bringing in a coveted dead squirrel, bloody and mangled. He reluctantly left it at the door to come in and eat. When I let him out, it was gone. A neighbor dog was sneaking away with it. Even the unemployed dogs in this rural area are wandering. For a laugh, here is an illustrated version of The Wanderer by Dion and The Belmonts including John Glenn, The Three Stooges and a floating newborn.

104. You watch two water striders get it on, while taking everything in stride.

105. You apply for a Guinness World Record for most job application rejections. Today, I got a rejection letter for a job I didn’t even apply for. No kidding. I should get some kind of prize for that.

106. A sweet poem for the season, after a walk in the woods finding tiny spring flowers like this Round-lobed Hepatica a.k.a. Anemone americana. Aren't you impressed with my knowledge of the Buttercup Family? I own a wildflower book.
A Variation of Spring Has Sprung
Spring Has Sprung, the grass his ris’,
I wonder where the birdie is?
There he is up in the sky,
He dropped some doodoo in my eye!
I’m alright, I won’t cry,
I’m unemployed and used to that shit.

107. You laugh at other unemployed persons' blogs. Check out the video at showing the travails of an unemployed Imperial Stormtrooper named TK822.

108. On your walk today, you see a critter that reminds you of your old boss. In metaphor only, though. This guy here is harmless. You sure don't miss the other one.

109. You could be in the midst of Iceland’s volcanic ash or stuck in a European airport, but you are at home, free and clear of everything including employment.

110. You begin to relate to your shoulder companion, the camera. This porcupine was yesterday’s highlight. How about their mating ritual? Males fight over the females, which is how it should be. Then the males dance and spray urine over the head of the female. Now, that is courtship.

\\\ For Good Things numbered 1 through 100, see 100 Good Things about Unemployment posted April 3, 2010. ///

No comments: