Friday, July 23, 2010

168 Good Things about Unemployment

168. You crave ice cream but all you have is cheese and crackers. So, you imagine and it almost tastes like moca almond fudge, my favorite.

167. When it is hot and humid and you are sweating just fine, you hang out in the woods all day picking wild blueberries. They're free and so are you.

166. You can finally clean the refrigerator.
Yesterday, I used all of our dying vegetables in a sauce over rice. This is a good meal for us unemployed as rice is cheap and the vegetables are from my garden and the farmers market. These fresh veggies are a good thing because they also take a long time to die. The ones from the store have been traveling a week or two before you buy them so they are good at wilting as soon as you store them. These can take weeks to brown and I always take advantage of that attribute.
Anyway, removing all the vegetable remnants from the bin, I realized that I may not have ever cleaned the refrigerator. You say that you can’t believe that. Well, there was a fair depth of dirt in the two bins and I could not remove one of bins because the door cannot go back far enough to remove it as we’ve wedged the refrigerator under our stairway and built a countertop preventing the refrigerator from coming out of the corner. In retrospect, this design was probably not a good idea.
I could try removing the refrigerator door to take out the bin. This seems like way too much work for cleanliness. So, I quit. The “white” space under that stuck bin remains littered with food bits but no one can see that, so who cares. There is only so much an unemployed person should do with her time.
Do employed persons have time to clean the refrigerator? No way. But, now, one side of my refrigerator is clean and you have a good view here of my rear.

165. You realize that shopping is not a patriotic act. I just returned from a trip to my home town visiting with family and friends. Although it was tempting to shop where I'm familiar with the stores, I stayed away. My time was better spent talking about old times and new while sharing meals and laughs. When Dick Cheney and George Bush urged citizens to shop after 9/11, Robert Reich said, "We don't live to support an economy. The economy exists to support us." So, why doesn't the U.S. Senate support us with passage of the unemployment extension? Seems patriotic to me.

164. When you visit friends, you look so pitiful they provide you with a free meal. The trick is employing this tactic over and over again.

163. You can poop in privacy. Have you ever been making number two when your boss walks into the restroom? Do you hold it? Do you let it go? Do you hope that she doesn’t inhale? All of us know that everybody poops. But, no one wants to be caught doing it. Even guys. I can’t figure that out.

162. At least the deer flies love you. The females even suck your blood through fresh bug spray. Where do I apply for Buffy's old job?

161. Heat and humidity are high here. No air conditioning at home. The nuns at my grade school would say that suffering is a good thing.

\\\ For Good Things numbered 151 through 160, see
For Good Things numbered 101 through 150, see
For Good Things numbered 1 through 100, see ///

No comments: