190 Good Things about Unemployment

181. You don't have to wear a bra.

182. You are ordained as a monk after your thousands of hours of isolation, contemplation and desperate prayer, and invited to ride in the Popemobile.


183. You take up a hobby while you’re waiting to be offered the job after your interview. You knit a potholder. You knit a scarf. You knit a tree jacket.

184. You take up another hobby while you’re waiting to be offered the job after your interview. In your first lesson, you draw this tennis shoe. In lesson two, you draw these apples. In lesson 743, you are mistaken for Picasso.

185. Your invention to teach men to replace the toilet paper roll makes a fortune from irritated wives. You no longer need a job. Patent Pending.


186. As the autumn leaves fall, you can watch every damn one of them hit the ground.


187. You can carve every damn one of these pumpkins.

188. You can smash every one of these damn pumpkins. And enjoy it.

189. You answer that perennial interview question: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Hmmmm.

I said, "My dog. He lays around all day, but gets scratched when the boss comes around."

Wrong answer.

190. You learn to juggle apples. Sometimes you miss. Depression runs in the family, not talent.

/// For Good Things numbered 171 through 180, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/09/180-good-things-about-unemployment.html
For Good Things numbered 161 through 170, see
http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/07/170-good-things-about-unemployment.html
For Good Things numbered 151 through 160, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/07/160-good-things-about-unemployment.html

For Good Things numbered 101 through 150, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/06/150-good-things-about-unemployment.html

For Good Things numbered 1 through 100, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/04/1.html ///

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