207th Good Thing about Unemployment

You don’t have to overhear your boss’s conversations to get information about your job.

 

Wish I could draw, 

but I couldn't do better than this clip art. 

190 Good Things about Unemployment

181. You don't have to wear a bra.

182. You are ordained as a monk after your thousands of hours of isolation, contemplation and desperate prayer, and invited to ride in the Popemobile.


183. You take up a hobby while you’re waiting to be offered the job after your interview. You knit a potholder. You knit a scarf. You knit a tree jacket.

184. You take up another hobby while you’re waiting to be offered the job after your interview. In your first lesson, you draw this tennis shoe. In lesson two, you draw these apples. In lesson 743, you are mistaken for Picasso.

185. Your invention to teach men to replace the toilet paper roll makes a fortune from irritated wives. You no longer need a job. Patent Pending.


186. As the autumn leaves fall, you can watch every damn one of them hit the ground.


187. You can carve every damn one of these pumpkins.

188. You can smash every one of these damn pumpkins. And enjoy it.

189. You answer that perennial interview question: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Hmmmm.

I said, "My dog. He lays around all day, but gets scratched when the boss comes around."

Wrong answer.

190. You learn to juggle apples. Sometimes you miss. Depression runs in the family, not talent.

/// For Good Things numbered 171 through 180, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/09/180-good-things-about-unemployment.html
For Good Things numbered 161 through 170, see
http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/07/170-good-things-about-unemployment.html
For Good Things numbered 151 through 160, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/07/160-good-things-about-unemployment.html

For Good Things numbered 101 through 150, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/06/150-good-things-about-unemployment.html

For Good Things numbered 1 through 100, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/04/1.html ///

All rights reserved Sheba Marx

189th Good Thing about Unemployment

You answer that perennial interview question: "If you were an animal, which one would you be?"

I said, "My dog. He lays around all day, but gets scratched when the boss comes around."

Wrong answer. 

/// For Good Things numbered 171 through 180, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/09/180-good-things-about-unemployment.html
For Good Things numbered 161 through 170, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/07/170-good-things-about-unemployment.html
For Good Things numbered 151 through 160, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/07/160-good-things-about-unemployment.html

For Good Things numbered 101 through 150, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/06/150-good-things-about-unemployment.html

For Good Things numbered 1 through 100, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/04/1.html ///

All rights reserved Sheba Marx.

163 Good Things about Unemployment

163. You can poop in privacy. Have you ever been making number two when your boss walks into the restroom? Do you hold it? Do you let it go? Do you hope that she doesn’t inhale? All of us know that everybody poops. But, no one wants to be caught doing it. Even guys. I can’t figure that out.
I did not draw this illustration but I love it and salute the unknown artist.

162. At least the deer flies love you. The females even suck your blood through fresh bug spray. Where do I apply for Buffy's old job?

161. Heat and humidity are high here. No air conditioning at home. The nuns at my grade school would say that suffering is a good thing.

\\\ For Good Things numbered 151 through 160, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/07/160-good-things-about-unemployment.html.
For Good Things numbered 101 through 150, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/06/150-good-things-about-unemployment.html
For Good Things numbered 1 through 100, see http://unemployedmarx.blogspot.com/2010/04/1.html ///

146 Good Things about Unemployment

146. You don't have to let your boss cut in line at the photocopy machine.

145. You watch spittle bugs. They are fascinating. The froth that looks like spit hides froghopper nymphs. But guess what? The substance is not spit. It comes from their behinds. Watch the spittle nymphs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24Gh5dXtpBE

144. You make a strawberry-rhubarb pie on a rainy June morning. And while the pie is cooling, you eat an ice cream cone in anticipation.

143. You don’t eat Twinkies from the office vending machine. And then feel like you need to run around the block or throw-up.

142. You no longer have to nap sitting up with your eyes open, which is the only successful accommodation when attending business meetings.

141. Nobody cares if you lose your to-do list. And you don’t either.

\\\  For Good Things numbered 131 through 140, see 140 Good Things about Unemployment posted June 3, 2010.For Good Things numbered 121 through 130, see 130 Good Things about Unemployment posted May 14, 2010.

For Good Things numbered 111 through 120, see 120 Good Things about Unemployment posted April 29, 2010.

For Good Things numbered 101 through 110, see 110 Good Things about Unemployment posted April 16, 2010.

For Good Things numbered 1 through 100, see 100 Good Things about Unemployment posted April 3, 2010. ///